Here’s a question that I see a lot. It’s the ever present argument about whether it is better for a baby to sleep in their own bed or in the parents’ bed. People seem to be quite passionate about this subject so I remind people that what is good for you is not necessarily good for everyone. In this post, I’m just going to go over how I made the decision…not how you should make the decision.

One of the first things you should do after you receive your referral from Korea is try to find out where your child is sleeping in Korea. Some Korean babies sleep in cribs from the beginning, some sleep with their foster mothers, etc… When I came, my parents tried to put me in a crib, but it turns out I had always slept on the floor on a pallet. I was not very fond of the crib or the distance from the floor.

A lot of people favor co-sleeping when they adopt from Korea to help with the bonding process. They believe that it gives that child an added sense of security.

We opted for the crib for several different reasons:
• Our son slept in a crib in Korea.
• Bedtime is often the only time that my husband and I get to spend alone together.
• Sudden Infant Death Syndrome – My son did not have any blankets, stuffed animals or pillows in his crib until after he turned one. I would worry about all of the blankets and pillows on our bed and the chance that we could rollover on him. (http://www.sids.org/ ; http://www.firstcandle.org/ ; http://sids-network.org/ ; http://www.sidscenter.org/ ; http://www.nichd.nih.gov/publications/pubs/sidsfact.htm )
• I was worried that it would be difficult to get him out of our bed.
• I wouldn’t get any sleep if he was in my bed (which I have learned the few times he has slept with me).

My son does not seem to have been traumatized by being left in kiddy prison for the night. I am cherishing this time where he is still willing to sleep in his crib because I suspect things will get more difficult with the on-coming of a “big boy” bed.

As for the other side, it worked for my husband’s brother’s family. All three kids slept with their parents – at one point at the same time. Now, slowly they have been setting the kids up in their own room until there is only one left (who is almost two). My sister-in-law wouldn’t do it any other way and that’s really all that counts.

Please feel free to share how you do/did it. If you would like to comment, but not on this site, please feel free to e-mail me at adoptkoreablog@adoptionmail.com