One of the things that I think parents of Korean adoptees have to be is diligent. We have to constantly watch the people around us to make sure that they aren’t making assumptions about our children that will hurt them or affect the way they are treated. So many people see a Korean adoptee and start making assumptions based on their visual analysis. They don’t look any deeper.

When I was in seventh grade, I was not doing very well in English class, which was confusing my parents. Up until that point, English was always one of my favorite subjects and I had always done very very well with my writing and reading skills. So, both of my parents went to the parent/teacher conference with the expectation that they would find out what was wrong.

My teacher explained what we were working in class and then told my parents that she had gone easy on me considering that English was my second language. My parents explained to her that English was not my second language and there was some embarrassment in the room as everyone tried to sort out the truth from the assumptions. The truth was that we were diagramming sentences in English class that semester and I wasn’t putting much effort into it. I thought it was a waste of time and BORING.

In this case, there wasn’t a lot of damage done. My parents figure it out and reminded me that I had to do it even though I thought it was stupid. What if it isn’t caught? What if the assumption is bigger? There could have been bigger problems going on than English being my second language and the teacher might have missed it because of her assumptions. This can happen outside of the school environment as well.

We can’t baby-sit out children every step of their lives. I don’t think that’s good for the child, but we can watch for situations that might hinder their ability to grow into their own person.

If you would like to comment, but not on this site, please e-mail me at adoptkoreablog@adoptionmail.com.