We went to Target tonight to buy heavier clothes. It’s getting colder here in Michigan and (typical of the mid-west) I never know if I should put him in shorts or bundle him up in sweatshirts and hats. Target is one of my son’s favorite places to go. Some how, we always end up in the little restaurant ordering hotdogs and pizza. I haven’t figured out how this works yet, but it’s becoming a tradition (so it’s a good thing we don’t go too often).

Anyhow, while I was sitting at the little table waiting for my son’s hotdog, I noticed a mother and her two children. The children were both Asian and the mother was not so I can only assume that the children were adopted. The boy was most likely Korean. Grant on our China Adoption Blog is the only person I know who was referred a boy from China. Both of these children were older. I always search the faces of the older children, especially boys, to see if I can see a glimpse of what my son might look like when he gets older.

Seeing older children also makes me think about the changes that happen when you enter school. Prior to school, I was able to live in my own insolated world where adoption was just a fact of life and everyone around me just accepted it. All of the children on my street knew me and the parents knew me. There was nothing new or exciting about me being Korean or adopted.

When school started everything changed. I found myself having to tell my story over and over again. Now, I enjoyed this for the most part. For me, sharing my story was important and a necessity. I am also aware of the fact that for some it is tedious and makes them feel more like outsiders than they did before. I had a childhood friend who was adopted, but she was Caucasian with Caucasian parents. No one ever thought to ask her if she was adopted and she rarely talked about it unless it benefited her in some way. Korean adoptees don’t have the luxury of letting our adoption go unspoken. Every time we walk into a room as a family, we scream “look at us.”

School has started for most children.

• If you haven’t already done it, now is a good time to talk with your children about the questions that children will ask.
• Work with your child to help create the answers. I think it’s very important that you don’t give your child the answers.
• Remember that there will be more question than just about your child looking different than you. Some children will not understand what adoption means and this could cause a lot of miscommunication.

I also suggest that you check out the siblings blog. Nancy has written a whole series about her presentation at her daughter’s school. I found it fascinating. Here is the link to her first post on the subject, but she has a lot more so I encourage you to keep reading.

Link: Part 1

If you would like to comment, but not on this site, please e-mail me at adoptkoreablog@adoptionmail.com.