I check out the Holt International Magazine on a regular basis. I was adopted through Holt when I was a baby and I grew up looking through their magazine. When I was little, it was somewhere that had faces like mine and families like mine. As I grew older, there were interesting tidbits for me to read.

Link: Winter 2007

On page 28 of the Winter 2007 edition, there is an article written by a Korean adoptee (Kim Hanson) and I was relieved to see that she was a lot like me. Not only did she adopt from Korea, but the first time she returned to Korea was at age 38. A part of me feels guilty sometimes that I haven’t made it back to visit and that it took adopting my son to actually create the desire to go visit. There’s a lack of connection for me that can’t be forced and I don’t think it was caused by anything that anyone did.

The Motherland Tour allowed me to concentrate on myself as an adoptee and to visit my orphanage. Being able to share in the journeys of other adoptees on the trip was simply unbelievable. We were all different ages and at different stages in our lives, but the bond was still there.

I’m glad that Holt and other institutions have started these motherland tours. Families and adoptees who would not travel on their own have an easy way to do it where there are people just like them. Though I hate the process of traveling, I enjoy it when I’m there. I suspect that even if I didn’t go with a tour, I would enjoy myself and get along just fine. However, my husband sighed a big sigh of relief when he heard we can go with a group.

Kim Hanson finished her article with the following quote:

After the Motherland Tour, I wrote in my journal and continued life story, “Does this trip make me feel complete? No, I was complete prior to this trip. This trip allowed me to say, I’m done; done with all the questions I’ve had in my head all these years.”

Perhaps that’s why I have no driving urge to jump in a plane. Oh, I want to go, but not because I’m missing anything.