I want my son to know that I am the kind of parent who will listen to anything he needs to tell me. I want him to know that he can come to me with any issue and we’ll work through it. However, I know that he won’t always come to me – that’s about the only given in parenting.

Reading stories together is a great way to introduce some of the tougher topics. You might find that even the younger children have been thinking about some of the big ones and didn’t know how to tell you. When I was small, there were very few books out there for Korean adoptees, but now libraries and on-line bookstores are full of books on the subject.

There are a several reasons that children don’t tell their parents if they have concerns or questions about being a Korean adoptee.

1. They may assume that you already know what they are thinking. Smaller children, especially, are a little egocentric and don’t always realize we’re not mind readers.

2. They may not know how to ask the questions.

3. They might be afraid to hurt your feelings if they ask the questions.

4. They might be afraid of the answers to the questions.

Personally, I think that a family reading time is a wonderful time. It’s even better if someone reads the story aloud to everyone and then you discuss it, but that’s not always practical. Having a one on one reading session can also be great for bonding time. You are snuggled together on the couch with your book and your thoughts…it’s a good time for conversation. Use the story line to generate the questions and they don’t all have to be about adoption – this method is also good for bringing up talks about smoking, drugs and (ugh, gasp) sex.

If you would like to comment, but not on this site, please feel free to e-mail me at adoptkoreablog@adoptionmail.com.