Very well said by the author. As adoptive parents I think it is very important to remember how we became parents...because of the birthparents. They are the ones who made a huge sacrifice for their child.

Debates like this ignore that each person involved in each adoption is an individual. Labelling people is a convenient way to create a order out of the chaos of human behaviour, and it always ignores the individual. Rarely, if ever, do we know the motives, reasons, personality behind any actions but our own. It is better to accept that such things are part of the many unknowns we face in life, and that coping with unknowns is part of the human experience. Anything else imputes fantasies (about all the parties involved in a particular adoption) with an undeserved sense of reality.

ha ha. i liked YOUR comment. you made me lol when you said "as both, i'm frustrated by me" he he he