Link – Part 1
Link – Part 2

I had a pretty easy time – no outbursts, no hard questions, no tears… I stand by my belief that I have lived a charmed life and I am rather grateful for whatever plan led me down this path. But reality says that everyone will not have such an easy time. There are families who will be wary of a Korean adoption and there will be families who reject the whole premise. I get goose bumps just thinking of it.

Now, my grandparents didn’t think that adopting from Korea was such a good idea. They were very old fashioned and (let’s face it) racist. A lot of their racism stemmed from ignorance, but it was there nonetheless. My parents were the type that could ignore family criticism and keep going on the path that they chose. Other people are not able to do this and need to think very hard about their choices.

I really think that you should ask the tough questions before you tell your family (if you have any doubts). It’s feasible that your family’s opinion may shape your ultimate decision. I don’t think that makes you weak or indecisive. Family is such an important part of what shapes us that it is logical that they will play a big part in every aspect of your life.

If you decide to adopt from Korea, one of the hardest questions you have to ask is if you can turn away from your family if they don’t accept your child. If someone in your family (or a lot of someones), is openly hostile to your child…can you do what is necessary to protect your child? This is the kind of questions that you ask yourself before you adopt. If you decide that you can’t, then good for you. It’s better to go through these questions and figure it out up front.

After I came, my grandparents accepted me as well as they ever could. Growing up, I never felt the sting of rejection, but then I was their only grandchild until my sister came. When my parents told my grandparents about my sister, my grandmother said, “Do you think you should? You got lucky the first time. You might not get lucky the second time.” In this case, the racism was always there just under the surface, but it didn’t require my parents to severe contact. Unfortunately, it doesn’t always work out that way.

If you would like to comment, but not on this site, please e-mail me adoptkoreablog@adoptionmail.com.