One of the things that I hear a lot from people as that they become tongue-tied when people make rude or uninformed comments towards them. So, if we adults become tongue-tied, imagine how the children feel.

From experience, I can tell you that there was always a little tug-of-war going on in my head. The part of me that used to get so frustrated was always fighting with my etiquette lessons. Even as I opened my mouth to tell them they were idiots, I could hear my mother in my head telling me, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.” The little fight in my head generally went on until the person in question was long gone and the moment to educate was lost.

Children learn from example. If you work on some responses, then they will be able to see how you react and, hopefully, mimic you in the future. In other words, do as I say and not as I do. Truthfully, the last time someone came up to me and said, “Do you ever wonder about his real parents?” I stood there with the words “Excuse me?” on the tip of my tongue, but it never came out and I was probably doing my best imitation of a fish out of water.

Stranger: “Do you ever wonder about his real parents?”

The Ever Articulate Me: “My son is very lucky to have two sets of real parents. He has us and he has his biological parents.”

The Evil Me: “What does that make us? His imaginary parents?”

Admittedly, the Evil Me tries to get out more and more since I’ve become a parent. I wasn’t this touchy when I was a child. However, the point that I’m trying to make is that arming your child with a way to respond is a good way to give them back some control. One of the worst parts about being a child is that you are rarely in control. I couldn’t control the fact that I was young, I couldn’t control the fact that I looked different, I couldn’t control that I was adopted… Just a little bit of control can make you feel like you are at the top of your game.

If you would like to comment, but not on this site, please e-mail me at adoptkoreablog@adoptionmail.com.