I have been exchanging e-mails with someone who is in the very first stages of the adoption process. She hasn’t even picked an agency, but it has made me feel nostalgic. I never thought that I would miss being an intricate part of the twisted process, but I do. If I were in the process, I would be so much closer to the second child that I really want right now.

My son took me by surprise because the process moved so much faster than I was expecting. This time, things are moving very slowly for us. I explained in my earlier series about deciding to adopt again that my husband and I are not the type to borrow such a large sum of money. It takes more time than I want to take to save the amount of the fees. It doesn’t help that my son tells me at least once a week that I need to get him a sister.

It made me think about some of the other parents that I’ve talked to and this longing that drove them to adoption. You want something so badly that you start getting tunnel vision and it becomes difficult to see anything on either side. I wonder if this is the reason that some of the prospective parents become so defensive when they read the posts of adoptees who don’t favor adoption. When you are so focused on a goal, it’s difficult to deviate from the path that you’ve set.

I’m a rather focused person when I’ve decided on something and it’s hard for me to change course. After all, I decided that I was going to adopt from Korea when I was nine years old. However, I’ve also learned that an occasional detour does not necessarily knock you off course. I truly believe that paying attention to opinions that are not my own will help me more than they’ll hinder me.

If you would like to comment, but not on this site, please e-mail me at adoptkoreablog@adoptionmail.com.