It’s an interesting question and one that I never thought of. Someone who reads my posts brought up this topic and I was shocked that it had never crossed my mind, but then I really thought about it. Why would it cross my mind? I am a Korean adoptee and no one is likely to question my right to wear the Korean traditional garment. The reader wrote the following:

“While I don't know that I myself would ever don a Hanbok, but I know many adoptive parents do, and I was curious to see how you felt about this. As adoptive parents, we are told by social workers, to incorporate Korean culture into our homes, yet by doing so, do we sometimes cross the line and become disrespectful of our children’s culture?”

For those people who do not know what the hanbok is, it is the Korean traditional garment – for males and females. At one time, it was the every day clothes of the Korean people, but in modern times it is worn only for special events and rites. They are generally beautiful and full of color.

The reader wrote that “…there is an adoptive mother who is struggling with the fact that her adoptive son is not embracing his Korean culture as much as she had thought he would. She wants to have pictures of him taken in his hanbok and he wants no part of it. Her solution is to find a hanbok for herself so they can both be photographed together.”

However, the reader also said that she has been haunting Korean adoptee sites as well and one of the posters on that site thought it was disrespectful of the parents to wear the hanbok. The poster seemed to think that the adoptive parents were trying to claim a heritage that is not their own. Thus, her question...

I had to really think about this one, but here is my opinion: I don’t think that the adoptive parents should wear the hanbok unless they are doing it with a deep understanding of the culture. Specifically, the hanbok is steeped in tradition and wearing it for the reason the mother was going to above – just to get her son to wear his – seems very disrespectful to me. It seems disrespectful to the culture and it seems disrespectful to her son’s wishes. You can not force a culture on someone – they have to be willing to embrace it.

In addition, if you are wearing the hanbok without understanding the tradition, it can be a lot like playing dress-up. This should not be the reason you or your child are wearing the hanbok.

When I was little, you could not just order a hanbok and have it shipped with the ease that you do today so I didn’t have one. Now, I wouldn’t wear one (even though I was born in Korea). Why? Over the years, I have learned a lot about the Korean culture, but I’ve learned it as an outside observer. I’ve said it before – the Korean culture is not my culture and I don’t pretend that it is. Instead, I respect what I’ve learned and I don’t wear the hanbok (because it would be playing dress-up for me).

I am aware that a child’s first birthday is very important in Korea and that there is a special hanbok for their first birthday. I did buy my son a hanbok and I've framed it to hang in our home. He wore it for his first birthday, but that is the last hanbok that I will buy for my son until he is old enough to make the decision for himself. For the most part, I think it is a very individual decision. There are many Korean adoptees out there that will feel the connection and there will be adoptees, like me, who don’t feel the connection.

As for parents of Korean adoptees, I am also aware that there are parents who feel a deep connection to their child’s culture. They take the time and the effort to research the culture and they act with respect. To those parents, I say enjoy the hanbok and good for you.

If you would like to comment, but not on this site, please feel free to e-mail me at adoptkoreablog@adoptionmail.com.