Parents are often worried that their adopted child will suffer separation anxiety when they leave them for the first time. Will they think they are being left behind? I didn’t really go through that (in the traditional sense) because my son came as an infant. He was fine. He waived "bye bye" and smiled. I suffer from separation anxiety.

I was talking to my mother about it the other day because I will be traveling to Ohio for my cousin’s wedding shower and I really wanted to bring him with me. The shower is going to be rather large and no kids are invited. So, I’m going through withdrawal and it’s still a couple weeks away. I am actually contemplating making my husband drive down with me so that at least my son is in the same state. Good grief. What is my issue?

For the first six months after my son came home, I refused to go out at all unless he could come with me. My friends, who all have biological children, had all left their children for short periods of time by the time their children had turned one. One of my friends pointed out that she hadn’t left her first baby with anyone for the first six months and, though my son was one, he had only been with us for six months. There was a big sigh of relief.

Now he is two years old and I’m still having some issues. People keep telling me that my husband and I have to get out some and have adult time. I’ve tried that. Mostly, I’ve left him with my mother-in-law so that they can have some quality bonding time, but I don’t really enjoy the time. I’m always checking my watch to see if it’s time to go back. I’m getting better. I can generally go several hours now before I start thinking about picking him up, but it has been a long road.

The same friend who pointed out that my son had only been with us for six months reminded me the other day that it’s different for me. While she is a stay-at-home mom and sees her kids all day, I leave my son at daycare for ten hours a day, five days a week. I get adult time while I’m at work and I spend time with my husband after my son’s bedtime. Perhaps over time, my separation issues will lessen and when my mother-in-law hints that she would like to baby-sit, I’ll be able to say “sure, how soon?”