For me, this is one of those topics that are both old and new. It’s old because once upon a time I was the child being prepared for a new sibling and new because now I have a son who will need to be prepared. How will I do it? I wish I knew. Mostly, I’m going to do what I’ve been doing for the past two and a half years – figure it out while I go.

The first thing I did was observe my friends and family. Many in our group have had more than one child and, though not through adoption, they did have to prepare their children for a new sibling. So, it is logical for me to turn to them when it’s time to make my own decisions. I enjoy being one step behind because it gives me the opportunity to learn what works and what doesn’t.

One told me that it was logical for them to wait until after the third month. Another told me that they waited until she was actually starting to show. With adoption, it’s a little different because there is no guarantee that the process will be over in nine months. It might be earlier or later.

My parents told me fairly early in the process, though my strong memories only start around the homestudy. However, I was eight years old (moving on forty) so they were able to share more complex information with me. As an older child, who was also adopted from Korea, the experience was wonderful. I got to be a part of the process – step by step. I was able to see how I got here. It was a wonderful way for me to learn about myself.

I can’t talk from experience, but I expect that many older children would like to be an intricate part of the process. Above and beyond the fact that I was adopted, I felt that I was a part of bringing my little sister home.

If you would like to comment, but not on this site, e-mail me at adoptkoreablog@adoptionmail.com.