My mother-in-law was talking about her friends on the way home from vacation. They are an Indian family (Asian Indian) and both parents were raised in India. They have two daughters (twins) who were born here in the United States.

She was commenting on what a shame it is that the girls don’t speak their parent’s native language. My mother-in-law has become the girls’ honorary grandmother so she is often at their home, soccer games, school events, etc…. She was telling me that the parents will talk to each other, but they will only talk to their girls in English.

I don’t know many Korean American people my age or younger. Most of the Korean Americans that I’ve met are older and they were born in Korea. I do know a couple of Chinese Americans from college and there wasn’t much difference between them and me. It’s probably why we got along so well.

There is always such a huge issue surrounding Korean adoptees and culture. There is that fear that we are taking culture away when we adopt a child from another country. Unfortunately, when we are not versed in Korean culture and we try to introduce the culture to our children it is often presented as more of a novelty than something that they should absorb as their own.

I was wondering if there was a similar problem with Korean American generations that are born in this country. Do they loose site of their Korean culture? Is it by design or by accident?

My father’s family is primarily of German background. They’ve been in United States since the early 1700s (maybe earlier) so most of the ethnic culture has been diluted out. You don’t hear anyone saying that we’re going to have a traditional German feast for Christmas. We just have Christmas dinner. Over the years and many marriages later, my father’s side of the family can only claim the United States when describing our ethnicity.

My mother’s family is different. Her grandparents spoke with Irish brogues and literally came over on the boats from the old country. My mother went to Irish American festivals, learned Irish dancing and got a glimpse of Ireland through the eyes of her relatives. She has passed on some of what she learned to me. Though for me it translated into a fascination of Irish fairy tales and folklore and my little penny whistle that I taught myself to play. She tried to teach my Irish dancing so that I could wear her dancing costume, but I have to left feet

So, though I was born to the Korean culture, I was also adopted into the cultures of my family (American, Irish, German, Portuguese, Scottish…) and this culture is just as important. I think that it is just important for the parents of Korean adoptees to be sharing these cultures as it is to be learning about the Korean culture. Sometimes in our zeal to “make everything right” we go overboard in the process.

If you would like to comment, but not on this site, please e-mail me at adoptkoreablog@adoptionmail.com.