As I’ve talked about in past posts, January 1st marked some changes in the Korean adoption process. The one that I think will affect prospective parents the most is the new five month rule. Korean children will be placed for domestic adoption only for the first five months and then they will be eligible to be referred for international adoption. The initial result will be that children will be older at referral and thus older when the travel call comes.

Because Korean children are generally placed in foster care very early, the child will have a longer time to bond with their foster mothers. Thus, the separation anxiety will be more acute. Studies indicate that children don’t start truly understanding object permanency until they are around nine months old. For infants like my son, who traveled at six months, the change was not very dramatic. It just happened. With this new rule, children will most like be referred under the age of twelve months, but they may be twelve months or older when they travel. Grieving will be a much larger issue with older infants and toddlers.

Grieving won’t be the only issue. There is also the general feeling of instability that will upset the child for awhile. An older infant or toddler will be more likely to realize that these new people do not look like the people he’s been with. They are also not old enough to receive an explanation so it will be nothing but confusing. The possibility of problems increases.

Perspective parents will need to keep this in mind at all times. Examine each one of the potential problems and think about what can be done to make the transition easier. When we are waiting for our children to arrive, we often dream about all of the good things. You want to be a family and you want everything to be happy. In some cases, everything may turn out just fine and the transition will be quick and painless. However, there is the possibility that the transition will not be smooth and it is so important that you don’t allow the early days, weeks and months to discourage you. Be prepared.

If you would like to comment, but not on this site, please e-mail me at adoptkoreablog@adoptionmail.com.