Part 1

It’s funny. When I was little people were always throwing around the “abandoned” term when they were talking about me. It was before “politically correct” became a buzz phrase and everyone was making lists of positive adoption words. To me, abandoned was a term that described how I came to be adopted and I didn’t actually ever feel that I was abandoned.

That sounds a little funny, but I think that it speaks volumes about how I came to feel about my own situation. I think it’s why I don’t need to meet my birth parents and I think it’s why I haven’t ever considered searching.

I can remember telling people that I was abandoned. I said it without understanding that for some Korean adoptees the term made them feel unwanted or thrown away. For me, it just meant that I was here instead of there. There is simplicity in childhood that always makes me smile. My parents would be the first to tell you that when I make a decision it takes a pretty big force to shake me loose of it. I think that I decided that I liked being here when I was pretty young and, as I grew older, I decided not to change my mind.

Now as an adult, I still don’t feel abandoned. I am also cognizant of the new adoption phrases and I generally refer to myself as a “found” baby instead of an “abandoned” baby, but that’s more out of respect for the members of the adoption process that find the word offensive. I believe that my birth parents (either together or separately) made a decision when I was born and I respect that decision as the right one for them at the time. I don’t question their motives or whether they loved me. It was simply a choice that needed to made and now I’m here.

If you would like to comment, but not on this site, please feel free to e-mail me at adoptkoreablog@adoptionmail.com