Link: Part 1

I tried to picture what a defense mechanism would look like. I found myself thinking about Star Trek. The captain of the ship says, “Shields up” and a translucent bubble forms around the ship. Weapons fire bounces off the shields and the occupants of the ship are shaken, but unhurt.

The problem with leaving your shields up and not fighting back, is that eventually those alien weapons start to find weaknesses in your shields. Things inside the ship become a little more worrisome. People get injured, sparks fly out of computers and big holes start to form in the walls.

Where am I going with this analogy? If you let your belief in your defenses become too strong, you don’t have a contingency plan. If you’ve refused to except that the issues exist, then what happens when your view of the world is blown to dust? You aren’t prepared and your child isn’t prepared.

The reason that I wrote this in the first place was because I was listening to some adoptive parents talk. I heard all of the right words coming out of their mouths, but there was no substance. They were talking the talk, but they weren’t walking the walk. Don’t get me wrong, there are sometimes that I feel the experts are putting too much emphasis on the adoption and the Korean culture and not enough attention on simple parenting. However, that doesn’t mean I think you can wear blinders and carry on with your lives.

I worry that I will become complacent. I am very happy with my life the way it is. There is warmth in my life and I really enjoy the peace. My son is not old enough for me to get down on the floor and really talk to him about what being adopted and Korean means. When I tell him he’s adopted, he grins and repeats what I say, but he doesn’t really understand. My defense mechanism is on high right now while I adjust to being a mother, but I really hope that I will be able to judge when it’s the right time to lower my shields to give my son the information that he will need so that life doesn’t hit him in the face. I hope that when the time is right, he will be able move forward and make his own choices.

If you would like to comment, but not on this site, please e-mail me at adoptkoreablog@adoptionmail.com.