I was in Ohio again today. My son and I drove down for my cousin’s wedding shower. Her sister was the one married in July. We’re having a wedding crazy year. I was joking because it was a six hour round trip for a two hour shower, but it’s not her fault that I moved to Michigan. (I did get the prize for coming the farthest…dark chocolate with raspberry filling.)

So what does this have to do with Koreans and height? My one cousin is actually on the short side for my family at five foot eight. My other two cousins (the ones with weddings this year) are both at least six feet tall (probably a little more) and they make me feel like I’m back in elementary school again looking up at the adults with awe. My cousin gave me a hug goodbye and she nearly had to bend in half to do it. It only figures that all my cousins would be tall. My dad and my uncles are all over six feet and their sister is exactly six feet.

I’ve become accustomed to my height (or lack there of) over the years. I’ve resigned myself to the fact that I will never reach that top shelf, I will always sit on top of my steering wheel when I drive and I am doomed to be in the front row of every group picture. At five foot two, I am actually not that short in comparison to other Korean women, but compared to family and friends…

This is really kind of a general warning to the parents of Korean adoptees. Beware the teenage years. Obviously, my experience is mostly with girls. When they are little girls, being small is cute. People use words like “cute” and “petite” to describe your little girls. But when you move into the teenage years, being cute isn’t as much fun. You want to be thought of us grownup and mature, but people are patting you on the head and asking you if you need a booster seat when you’re twelve (real life story for my sister). People also tell you all the time that you’ll like it when you’re older. Ugh. It doesn’t matter when you are a teenager what you will like when you’re thirty.

It might not seem like such a huge thing, but when you add it together with the normal search for identity that comes with being a teenager, the additional search for identity when you’re a Korean adoptee and a massive hormonal imbalance…enough said. I’ve been trying to think of some things that might impact my son. It doesn’t look like he’s going to be as short as me, but he’s definitely not going to be trying out to be trying out to be a Center in basketball either. I had a male friend in college who was just a couple inches taller than me and his complaint was that a lot of the taller girls didn’t want to date him because they felt self-conscious.

If you would like to comment, but not on this site, please e-mail me at adoptkoreablog@adoptionmail.com.