Part 1 - Introduction

Part 2 - Disappointment & Failure

Anxiety

Anxiety is that emotion that causes a waiting parent to call the social worker once a week even though they’ve promised you that they will call you the minute that they have news. The adoption process is full of ups and downs that feed anxiety and make it grow out of proportion to reality.

My anxiety was actually highest right before we started the paperwork. I was sure that I was forcing my husband to do something that he didn’t want to do. I would wake my husband up in the middle of the night and demand that he tell me he was okay with the adoption. He generally mumbled for me to go back to sleep and rolled over. On several separate occasions, I managed to work myself up into a state of near panic. After we finished the long application, I stopped worrying. No one would throw themselves into that mess unless they were pretty sure they wanted to do it and my husband dove right in.

I’ve read posts from people that think things are falling a part if they feel a little anxious about adopting or if they have a momentary doubt that they made the right choice. Shouldn’t they be one hundred percent behind it all the time? Shouldn’t they know that they are doing the right thing? I was talking to my friend (when she was about seven months pregnant) and she was worried that she had made the right decision. I think it’s a part of being human – second guessing your decisions, especially major life changing decisions. I really don’t think that it makes you a bad person.

Even after you have that picture in your hand and you’ve accepted the referral, anxiety is normal. You are making a decision that is going to change your world forever, whether this is a first child, second, third… I think that over the course of your life, you are going to think black thoughts. Some of them might shock you and make you angry at yourself. Some might even scare you a little.

If you would like to comment, but not on this site, please e-mail me at adoptkoreablog@adoptionmail.com.