Disappointment & Failure

Before people become to upset with me, I am not saying that Korean adoption is a disappointment. What I did want to share is that often parents arrive at the adoption process with a battle weariness that stems from disappointments. For many parents, by the time you get to the Korean adoption process, they’ve tried to conceive naturally, they’ve tried fertility treatments and they’ve tried domestic adoption. Disappointment is a part of life.

I don’t think that feeling disappointed makes you a bad person. I did not experience this process, but I’ve read about it with enough regularity that I know it’s not abnormal. It seems to me that if you try something and it doesn’t work out that the natural reaction would be disappointment. If you have too many disappoints, I think it’s rather brave that you are willing to try something new.

Others have described their disappoint leading them into feelings of failure. It’s hard to fail at something that you are not in control of in the first place and, whether it’s natural conception or adoption, there are very few things that you actually control. So, the whole process had to seem like total chaos for the person that always has to be in control.

Now, if you find that you are disappointed that you have to try Korean adoption (or any international adoption), then you have to take a step back. Being disappointed that the things you’ve tried that didn’t work is entirely different than being disappointed because you have to try adoption. If that’s where you are, you need to think long and hard before you take the step.

If you would like to comment, but not on this site, please e-mail me at adoptkoreablog@adoptionmail.com.