Recently, someone asked me some questions and I thought I’d share my answers with everyone.

"There are so many little ones around our area who've been adopted from China, and more than a few from Vietnam - with that number sure to increase now that Vietnam is open for adoptions again. With the rumors about Korea closing to foreign adoptions, I'm concerned about our child not having a community of kids like herself to be part of. As someone adopted internationally to the U.S. yourself, what is your perspective on this?"

I sometimes think that people put too much emphasis on the Korean part and not enough emphasis on the adopted part. It's not that I think you can ignore the Korean part, but having groups of Asians in your area will definitely make a child feel more at ease. Having a group of Asian adoptees would have been great.

Understand, I grew up in an environment with very few adoptees (at least none that I knew of) and almost no minorities. My sister wasn't adopted until I was nearly nine years old. I'm pretty sure that I turned out just fine. Having a support group would have been nice, but I don't think that I would have needed just a Korean adoptee support group.

"I wonder if there are many couples in Korea who want to adopt?"

I'm not an expert on this, but from what I've been reading in the Korean papers - they are still trying to overcome a general taboo on domestic adoption. So much of the Korean culture was based on blood-relation that is difficult to just change it in a few years. My understanding is that girls are in a bigger demand in Korea, but there are still far more Korean children than Korean parents.

The Korean government is doing their best to change that. They have instituted a comprehensive communication campaign and they are offering incentives to Korean parents who want to adopt. (I am a little concerned with the incentives. I know their theory is that there are parents who do not have the money to adopt, but I worry that it could attract the wrong kind of people.)

"I think I understood that there are others in your family (a sibling?) from Korea, and with your ties to that county, your child would not face this issue. Can you offer a perspective?"

I am adopted from Korea. My sister is adopted from Korea. My mother's
God-child is adopted from Korea. My son is adopted from Korea. I am the oldest. My sister is almost nine years younger than me. I hope that my son will be able to learn from some of my experiences, but truthfully I think that everyone has to have their own experiences and they will react accordingly.

My sister and I grew up in the same house with the same parents, but we reacted very differently. Though my mother's godchild is a little more like me, she also reacted differently than us. It's all really a mystery and, unfortunately, we have no guidebook to help us.

Something I stress over and over again is that I am sharing my experiences because I hope that people learn from them. However, each adoptee is different and will react differently. Some of us take to being adopted by Caucasian parents without blinking and others find it very difficult.

It bothers me when people say that they are adopting because they felt it their duty to help a child in need. I adopted my son because I wanted a child. There were a variety of other reasons that I chose Korea, but my primary reason was that I wanted a child. I know that some Korean adoptees think they would have been better off as an orphan in Korea, but I don't resent my adoption at all. I am very glad that I had the chance to have a family of my own. Prior to starting this blog, I only knew Korean adoptees like me (with variation). Now, I have had the opportunity to meet KADs with all different ideas, but it does not change my opinion. Though I would prefer that Korean children were able to stay in Korea, I do not oppose Korean adoption while there are children without homes.

If you would like to comment, but not on this site, please e-mail me at adoptkoreablog@adoptionmail.com.