Our hotel was on the East Bay in Traverse City so there was a lot of sandy beach for my son to explore. When we arrived, the weather was pretty cool, but my son jumped right in the water. We didn’t even have time to get his shirt off. The next day we went out to the beach, but it didn’t last long. My son had figured out the night before that there was an indoor heated pool and suddenly the water on the beach was just too cold.

In the short time that we were on the beach, my mother-in-law and I sat on the beach chairs and watched my husband and son play in the water. Right in front of us were two little Asian girls. They were making sand castles near the water. They had sand pales and plastic shovels. Every few minutes one of them would run back to their very Caucasian parents. I saw myself in them.

It was more than the fact that we shared the same hair color and I remember seeing pictures of me with the same little pigtails. The more I thought about it, the more I reralized that I do this all the time. Whenever I see an Asian girl (Chinese, Korean, etc…), I see myself.

A fellow KAD and blogger has recently joined one of the message boards that I belong to and she mentioned that she is not an expert on Korean adoption even though she sometimes thinks she is. That struck home for me because I’ve been there and I think many people have there. We think that because we’ve lived through it, we are qualified to be an authority on the subject. What I’m trying to remember is that it only makes me an authority on my own life and experiences, which I share in hopes that they help other people.

When I look at these little girls, I need to see them as individuals and not as an extension of me.

If you would like to comment, but not on this site, please e-mail me at adoptkoreablog@adoptionmail.com.