We were up bright and early this morning to go to Build-a-Bear. We swung by and picked up my mother-in-law and then off we went. My son was eager to go. We’d been talking about it for the last few days. I wanted him to understand (before we got there) that we were making bears, but that we wouldn’t be taking them with us.

In the three year old world, everything is “I want that” and “mine.” I was pretty sure that we would have a melt down if he didn’t have a good grasp of why we were going. The next problem was how to explain waiting children in a way that my three year old would understand (especially a slightly spoiled three year old).

I started the conversation in the car on the way home from daycare. I like car conversations because there is really nothing else for him to do except listen to me. Until he learns about MP3 players, I’ve got a captive audience.

Step One: I almost started the conversation by telling him that there were some children who didn’t have a Mommy and Daddy. Before I spoke, I realized that statement could make it pretty difficult when it was time for me to explain his Korean birth parents so I changed my phrasing a little. Instead, I asked him if he would be sad if he didn’t have a Mommy and Daddy to live with. Much to my relief, he assured me that he would be sad.

Step Two: I told him that there were some little girls and boys who don’t have Mommies and Daddies to live with. We talked about some of the things that Mommies and Daddies do - hugs, kisses, make dinner, take him places in the car, etc…

Step Three: I told him that some little girls and boys don’t have any toys either. Gotcha, my materialistic child…that one really hit home. He was very concerned that they didn’t have toys.

Step Four: I told him that we were going to go build a bear for a little boy or girl. We would make it and then we would leave it at the store. I told him that the store would send the bear to a little girl or boy who didn’t have a Mommy or Daddy. He told me that his bear was going to a little girl (not a boy) and that it would make her happy.

So, I set off this morning with the idea that I would be giving my son a lesson in selfless behavior. His first lesson about giving from the heart. He did well. He was scared of the machine that stuffed the bears, but he kissed the heart that goes inside each bear and watched as the woman sewed up the backs. He put each bear (we made four) into the box and said that they were for his little girl. Of course, some of the selfless part was ruined when my mother-in-law asked him if wanted a bear to take home and he happily went off to make a white stuffed dog named Clifford III. However, perhaps I started the wheels turning on our little trip to the mall.