The first time we took my son out of the house was really a trial of errors. My husband had taken two weeks off to spend with us, but we were still hesitant to make the trip in anything other than the stroller for the first few days. On the fourth day, we were suffering from cabin-fever so we decided to take our chances.
We grabbed our son and carefully buckled him into his car seat. We were still fairly new to the whole process so it took both of us and several long minutes to figure out how all the various buckles fit together. We were half way down to the store before I remembered that we hadn’t brought the stroller. Our son was happily babbling in the back seat and my husband said it was okay because he’d carry him. We didn’t plan to be there long.
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By the time we arrived at the store, I realized that we had also walked out the door without our diaper bag. We had been together for ten years and we were used to just getting into the car and going. Now, we had to remember to bring everything except the kitchen sink. It was a big change for us.
As we got used to going out with our son, we found ourselves amused by some of the attention that we got. It seems to me that people try really hard to see a resemblance between parents and child. I lost count of how many people came up and said how much my son looks like me. We would have to stop and explain that he was adopted. It’s amazing to me how fast we can clear an area when we explain this because everyone seems embarrassed that they made the comments.
I realize that most people don’t receive the comment like we did because their child doesn’t look like either parent. Instead, Caucasian parents get the “Is she adopted?” or “Is he Korean?” questions. This in turn triggers the generic response that most parents of Korean adoptees learn pretty early in their parenting experience. Of course, occasionally someone will still try to find that resemblance. One parent told me that someone came up to her and told her that her daughter looked just like her. We laughed about that. She is a tall woman with light brown hair and big hazel eyes. Her daughter is a petite little Chinese girl with the almond-shaped eyes and jet black hair.
