The message boards are full of people who are waiting for their first homestudy visit and they are scared out of their minds. Should they make cookies? Did they get all the dust bunnies out from under the bed? I can understand the feeling. Truthfully, when we were getting ready for the homestudy for our son, I wasn’t worried much at all. I’ve written before, though, that I was terrified during my sister’s homestudy. I was so sure that I had to be the perfect child that I was making myself sick.

If you are getting ready for a homestudy and you already have another child or children, it is important that you make sure they are prepared for the process too. Though the homestudy is not supposed to be a frightening time of your life, for many it is. The actions of the parents can trickle down to the children. After all, when they see you cleaning parts of the house that most people didn’t even know existed, it can raise a few eyebrows.

Communication would be the key. The homestudy is the first part major part of the adoption process (at least in my opinion) and it’s a good time to explain adoption to your children in the first place. If your other children are adopted, it can be a refresher course and a trip down memory lane. If your child is not adopted, it can help guide them through the next stage of the process, which is waiting and waiting and waiting.

Here are some of my thoughts:

• Don’t try to bribe your child to be good. Explain that you want them to behave the way they would for any company.
• Don’t try to stomp on their natural energy. A social worker is not looking for robot children.
• Don’t spend too much time on those dust bunnies. I’ve never heard of a social worker looking under the bed.
• Don’t let the homestudy be a surprise to your children.
• Do pickup stray items, but don’t make all the toys go away. Your child will need something to do while you’re talking.
• Don’t be surprised if your child says something that is totally embarrassing, but don’t worry about too much either.

If you would like to comment, but not on this site, please e-mail me at adoptkoreablog@adoptionmail.com.