I went to the library the other day and borrowed a whole bunch of children’s books. I was amazed by the selection that they had for me to choose from. I chose to read a book called “An American Face” by Jan M. Czech.

The story is about a little boy who is counting down the days until he is an American citizen because he thinks he’ll get an “American” face. He wants to look just like his parents and the other kids on the playground. While he’s counting down, he wonders what his face will look like and if it will be painful. When he realizes that he will not have an “American” face, his parent step in to point out that he does have an American face and a pretty great face.

I think it’s a right of passage for a Korean adoptee to want to look like everyone else and to want a new face. Some feel it more strongly than others and some won’t ever tell anyone that they have this wish. I remember wanting to know why I didn’t have a more prominent bridge on my nose when I was little. I was wearing glasses by the time I entered kindergarten and they always slid down to the end of my nose because I had nothing to hold them up with (fixed with the wonders of lasek surgery). The problem with this wish is that sometimes they aren’t as minor as my wanting a bigger nose – they are bigger and can spiral out of control if it isn’t addressed early.

Here are some possible discussion questions that you could use with this book:

1. Have you ever wanted a different face? What would your face look like? Why?

2. Talk about the differences in the people around you, even if it’s as simple as some having brown hair and others having blond hair. Show him all the ways that people can be different and then talk about all the ways people are the same.

3. There are a couple of areas in the book that addresses negative comments about adoption and negative comments about they way the little boy looks. How do these comments make you feel? Have you heard anyone say these things? Has someone said them to you? How do you respond? Let’s talk about some things that you can say when this happens?

You can purchase this book at any of the major booksellers, www.adoptionshop.com, or borrow it from your local library.

If you would like to comment, but not on this site, please feel free to e-mail me at adoptkoreablog@adoptionmail.com.