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Third Mom has done it again. She’s made me think. There are some days where I just don’t think it’s possible for my brain to take in any more data and then wham…it hits me. Anyhow, Third Mom has one of her “open mike” posts up asking which ones is better – adoption or orphanage.
My knee jerk reaction was to respond “of course adoption is better” and I had to force myself not to furiously attack the keyboard. I had to remember that what I feel does not always make it the better option. I am comfortable with my adoption and that comfort translated into being comfortable adopting my son. However, my experience does not always represent everyone else’s experience.
I suspect that there are going to be adoptees with opinions all across the spectrum. I know that there are several Korean adoptee bloggers out there who are adamant that the orphanage would have been a better choice for them. We have to respect that and remember that adoption is not always a positive experience for everyone.
The truth is, unless you have a way of seeing alternate realities, there is no way to really know if one way would have been better than the other. I often think that people dwell too much on what might have been. How can we really know if our life would have been better if we had remained in an orphanage? I’ve read articles written by Korean adults who were not adopted and who wish they were. We can’t change the past, but we certainly can shape our future. I don’t know about anyone else (adopted or not adopted), but I plan to move ahead with confidence that I can always find where I am supposed to be, no matter where I started. Charge!
If you would like to comment, but not on this site, please e-mail me at adoptkoreablog@adoptionmail.com.
I plan to move ahead with confidence that I can always find where I am supposed to be, no matter where I started
That is exactly right!