I wanted to share a post written by Ji-in at Twice the Rice. I haunt her blog often, but I rarely link. Truthfully, I don’t always see eye to eye with Ji-in, but that’s why I read her blog. If everyone always agreed with everyone else, than the world would be a truly boring place to be. Ji-in and I started out from the same place, but we ended up in two very different places…yet not too far apart. Sometimes I wish there was a guidebook – a step by step manual on what to expect from a Korean adoptee. It would make my life as an adoptee and as a parent so much easier.

Link: “As good as the real thing”

Anyhow, I’m not sure there was a real point to my ramble, but I will be thrilled if it means something to someone. The reason I am linking to Twice the Rice today is because the post is one of the times that I am not too far apart from Ji-in. In fact, I’m sure that I couldn’t have said it any better.

There are some things that prospective parents and new parents of adoptees are doing lately that make me uncomfortable. Some of the “cute” things that are on the market now, like the t-shirts that Ji-in talks about, don’t always take the adoptee into account. I don’t think that anyone means any harm from them – they are tools to celebrate a special event, but I’m pretty sure that they aren’t looking at the big picture.

Awhile ago, I wrote a post about how I wished people would stop comparing adoption to pregnancy. I pointed out that I had watched my friends go through the nine month pregnancies and that I could honestly say that except for the waiting, I didn’t see many similarities. The pregnancy and the birthing process are what most people think of when they think new baby. When someone mentions me and new baby in the same sentence, I see visions of airplanes. However, when someone else is mentioned in correlation with a new baby – I tend to think pregnancy first. It’s logical I suppose that people would try to tie the two processes together, but I really think that by doing so they are trivializing the adoption process.

You may not agree with Ji-in. Remember, I told you that I don’t agree with her on a regular basis. However, this gives you a glimpse of how your Korean adoptee might feel and perhaps what you can do so that they don’t feel that way.

If you would like to comment, but not on this site, please e-mail me at adoptkoreablog@adoptionmail.com.