Today, I started wondering why people assume that all Korean adoptees will get along just because we are adopted from Korea. Yes, we have the added advantage of a common bond, but that does not automatically make us a unit. So when I hear that parents think that because their children are both Korean adoptees they will be best friends, I tend to sigh a little. It's like thinking that all people with blond hair will get a long just because of their hair color.

Growing up, I had one Korean adoptee friend (until she moved). We clicked right away, but it was no different than the way I clicked with my Caucasian friends. We were young and we really didn't discuss being Korean or not Korean. We were more interested in the most recent "hot" movie and playing games.

Since then, I have met other Korean adoptees, but I have yet to feel the same kinship that I did with my college roommates. When I met my first college roommate (who happens to be blond with blue eyes), we connected. By the end of the day, it was like we had known each other for a long time. Though I've enjoyed the company of other Korean adoptees and I've enjoyed corresponding with them on e-mail, I've yet to find that match.

So much of what forms relationships is personality. It depends on what you are looking for. Someday, perhaps I'll find a Korean adoptee that shares more with me than the common bond of adoption. Though it's a start, it just doesn't complete the puzzle.

If you would like to comment, but not on this site, please e-mail me at adoptkoreablog@adoptionmail.com.