When I Arrived…

I arrived from Korea in 1975. My sister arrived from Korea in 1984. My son arrived from Korea in 2004. Together, we spanned three decades of Korean arrivals.

When I was little, I used to ask my mother to tell me the story of my arrival over and over again. I loved the story. Of course, now that I’m older, I realize that there were parts of the story that I didn’t have – simple things, like how my parents miraculously appeared at Chicago O’Hare.

One of the things that hasn’t changed over he last three decades is escorting. All three of us were escorted... more

So, what happens when family doesn’t approve of your choice to adopt from Korea?

I was lucky enough not to experience this issue. My family is well indoctrinated in Korean adoption and my husband’s family didn’t even blink. In fact, my brother-in-law says that he had a dream we were going to adopt from Korea about a week before we announced it.

When my parents decided to adopt me, my grandparents were not in favor of the process. For them, it was actually a mixture of all three. There are some things that you can change and there are some things that you can’t. Once I got here, they were fine with me. However, when it was time for my sister to come home, my grandmother... more

When we decided to start the adoption process, I had always thought that we would go through a specific agency. I’m going to call it Agency A because I really don’t want to advocate one agency over another.

I sent in our preliminary application to Agency A and I was very disappointed to learn that they were not taking any more applications for the Korean program until the next year. Panic is probably the best way to describe how I felt. My sister had come through Agency A and that was the only reputable agency I knew of. I contacted the agency that I came through. I knew that they didn’t have an office in Michigan, but I thought they could give me a name of an agency. They... more

Financing has been on my mind a lot lately. We moved to our new house last September, but as of today, we haven’t sold our old house. So, seven months of two mortgages has made financing a huge deal.

Truthfully, we’re doing fine. My husband is a financial analyst and we rarely make decisions that we know we can’t handle, but we haven’t been able to save anything. If everything works out, we are closing on a sale on Thursday. I am cautiously optimistic. We’ve already had two offers fall through and this is the third. The optimistic part stems from the fact that we’ve... more

Though I have always been pro-Korean adoption (and I still am), there is also a reality that needs to be faced – Korean adoption is not always positive.

Some Korean adoptees have told me that they always feel like an outsider. They don’t feel like they belong anywhere. It’s hard for me to relate to absolute loneliness so I can’t tell you how this develops, but it is there and we can’t deny it. Some of the adoptees who are experiencing this loneliness can’t even tell you how they got there.

From a distance, it does seem like the Korean adoptee has no group to call... more

I’ve been thinking deep thoughts again. Under the right circumstances, it can be fairly dangerous. Unfortunately, this turned into one of my deeper darker thoughts.

Recently, someone commented that they wanted to adopt from Korea because they felt so sorry for the “poor” children. I found myself actually recoiling from the comment. The speaker hadn’t meant any harm, but it definitely struck the wrong chord with me. At the time, I wasn’t exactly sure why so I had to think about it for awhile.

I don’t think that anyone should adopt (from anywhere) because they feel sorry for a child. I adopted from Korea because I wanted a baby. It might be a little selfish, but that’s... more

Getting fit has been on my mind lately. Where I work, my department has challenged another department to lose weight and get fit in 2006. Our two departments weighed ourselves as a group (no one would do it individually) on a big freight scale and the race is on. The group with the largest percentage of weight loss and the most steps taken (we are all wearing pedometers) wins. Anyhow, it’s a lot of fun and everyone is watching out for everyone else.

So, when I was scanning through the forums and I came across some posts on weight and Korean adoption, I thought... more

When my parents were preparing to adopt my sister from Korea, I was terrified of the social worker. She was a very nice woman and (as it turns out) an integral part of bringing home our son (twenty-some years later). It’s a small world.

I’m not sure where I got all my ideas, but I remember being truly terrified. At eight years old, the social worker seemed as close to god-like as a human being could get. If she didn’t like us, she wouldn't give us the thing that I really really wanted – a baby sister.

My parents were veterans of the process and I don’t remember them being... more

I was going to try to think of something cute and amusing for todays post, but I really hate April Fools Day. So, I opted for the same old same old. I am an April Fools Day scrooge.

The information that I put into my bio on this site is really my standard answer when someone asks me why I adopted from Korea. It’s really a little more complicated than that, but sometimes I get explanation fatigue so I simplify my answers. So, today I was thinking that it would be helpful if I was a little more detailed.

My general response is that I decided to adopt from... more

The Fact: You are allowed to choose the gender of you child if you already have a child or children of the opposite gender. (If you have a girl, you can request a boy.) Some adoption agencies could be more restrictive.

Personally, I have just recently gotten to the point where the mention of a second child doesn’t make me hyperventilate. I love my son, but I was seriously considering having just one. So, now that I’m fairly sure I would like a second child, I have another decision. Do I choose a little girl or leave it up to the powers that... more