Mother’s Day has taken on new meaning since my son’s arrival. I still forget on a regular basis that I’m one of the celebrated. The other night, I was trying to decide what to get my mother for Mother’s Day and I was harassing my husband to think of something for his mother. He turned to me and said, “What do you want?” What do I want? What does that have to do with anything? Oh yes, I’m also a mother.

The first Mother’s Day that I acknowledged was one of the worst days of my life. We had received our referral in March and May marked the... more

The message boards are full of people who are waiting for their first homestudy visit and they are scared out of their minds. Should they make cookies? Did they get all the dust bunnies out from under the bed? I can understand the feeling. Truthfully, when we were getting ready for the homestudy for our son, I wasn’t worried much at all. I’ve written before, though, that I was terrified during my sister’s homestudy. I was so sure that I had to be the perfect child that I was making myself sick.

If you are getting ready for a homestudy and you already have another child or children, it is important that you make sure they are prepared for the process too. Though the homestudy... more

If your child is escorted (like mine), you have had or will have your day at the airport. You will join the ranks nervous parents who have paced the waiting rooms in airports all over the world while waiting for their babies to come through the doors. Someone recently asked me who they should bring with them.

It’s up to you, but I know that our social worker suggested that we keep it on the smaller side. We brought both sets of grandparents and my sister (since she is also adopted from Korea). Truthfully, that seemed like a lot to me…but I’ve heard stories of whole extended families coming to greet the newest member of the family.

Here are some things that you may want... more

I have been exchanging e-mails with someone who is in the very first stages of the adoption process. She hasn’t even picked an agency, but it has made me feel nostalgic. I never thought that I would miss being an intricate part of the twisted process, but I do. If I were in the process, I would be so much closer to the second child that I really want right now.

My son took me by surprise because the process moved so much faster than I was expecting. This time, things are moving very slowly for us. I explained in my earlier series about deciding to adopt again that my husband and... more

One of the most common questions in the adoption forums is “How long does it take?” It’s phrased differently. Some ask how long it takes to get a referral after their homestudy is done. Others ask how long it takes from the referral to get a travel date. No matter how it’s asked, everyone wants to get a timeline.

When we adopted my son, the timeline was simple:

• Application... more

We are planning out our mini-vacation for the year right now. Or rather, I am. I tend to be an over planner (or at least that’s what my husband says). I tend to agree with him.

I don’t like things to be unsettled. It was overwhelming to me not knowing exactly what days we would be going and where. Normally, it’s not that difficult for us, but this time we are meeting my parents. Last year, we went with my husband’s parents. It’s not that I don’t want to go with parents (hi mom), it’s that it added that extra... more

When we were going through our homestudy to adopt our son from Korea, our social worker told us that one of us had to stay home for at least six weeks. It was a requirement. Truthfully, it wasn’t a hardship for me because I had already made plans to take the whole twelve weeks of leave that I was allowed through the Family Medical Leave Act.

When is a company governed by FMLA? • The employer has at least 50 employees.

When are you eligible for FMLA? • You have worked for the employer for 12 consecutive months. • You have worked at least 1,250 hours in those 12 months.

What should you know about FMLA?... more

Whether your child is adopted or biological, choosing your child’s guardian is a difficult decision to make. A part of the Korean adoption process is choosing your child’s guardian prior to your child’s arrival. Our social worker warned us that we would have to make the decision and we started thinking right away. My husband and I talked about it for a long time. We weighed all of our options and discussed several issues.

1. We wanted to make sure that our child’s guardians would wrap our son into their family. We didn’t want him to... more

The agency that we adopted my son through is smaller and got tied up in all the political red tape. The last few months of the year were hard for a lot of the waiting parents because no children came home. The new year brought happy news and many families received the travel call. Their children are coming this month and you can feel the mood change on the message board.

I remember when we received our travel call. Though they warn you that you might only get a few days notice, we were given about two weeks. The air crackled with a new type of frenetic energy. Everything we did had more purpose after we received that call. A switch flipped inside my brain and it went from "something... more

There are times when I talk about adoption and I watch as people’s eyes glaze over. I realize that they aren’t in the least bit interested in what I’m saying. It used to bother me until I really sat back and thought about it.

Someone complained to me once that everyone rallies around someone who is pregnant, but not around the adopting parents. Well, I’m thinking about it and I realize that the adoption process (before referral) is really kind of boring. It wasn’t exactly exciting for me while I was personally going through the process so why should it be interesting to anyone else?

My co-worker is pregnant. She just announced it and it started a flurry of questions.... more