Link: Part 1 Link: Part 2

As much as I’d like to think that all searches and reunions will end up with a “happily ever after” ending, I know this isn’t true. There is a story of a Korean adoptee that I once heard and I’ve been trying really hard to remember where I heard it from. I am pretty sure that I saw it on television, but it was long before... more

Link: Part 1

I love hearing reunion stories with happy endings. There have been enough stories of Korean adoptees finding their birth families that I know it is done. It’s for this reason that I would never discourage someone from searching for their birth family. Despite the message of my last post, I am not against seeking out possibilities. I am an advocate of making sure that you don’t set yourself up for disappointment.

Reunions and... more

On my other blog, I was wondering about how things could have been . Alternative realities can often be a lot more fun than the current one. In an alternative reality, you can work everything out so that it’s perfect.

I was at my cousin’s wedding this week-end and it was beautiful. What started out as a miserable day (cold and wet) turned into a clear blue sky as the church doors opened to introduce a new couple to the world. Wasn’t that nice of Mother Nature to... more

I do remember a time when my friends and I would talk and we would actually finish a sentence without interruption. Those times are long gone (pre-children). Now, when we get together, one of us is generally jumping to check on someone or someone is pulling on our sleeve to get our attention.

Anyhow, I was talking to my friend J on the phone the other day (in between interruptions) and she said that her daughter, A, said that she hated her new little sister A2. It’s bound to happen with sibling rivalry and the closeness in age. It was J’s reaction that had me thinking though. A was horrified that she had said it and immediately started saying that she didn’t mean it. J, however,... more

Recently, someone asked me some questions and I thought I’d share my answers with everyone.

"There are so many little ones around our area who've been adopted from China, and more than a few from Vietnam - with that number sure to increase now that Vietnam is open for adoptions again. With the rumors about Korea closing to foreign adoptions, I'm concerned about our child not having a community of kids like herself to be part of. As someone adopted internationally to the U.S. yourself, what is your perspective on this?"

I sometimes think... more

I am lucky in my in-laws. While some of my friends have nightmare in-laws, mine are rather mild and easy to get along with. My mother-in-law is always very worried about treating everyone equally and she does not want anyone to feel slighted. I honestly never worried about her treating my son differently than she does her other grandchildren. She is almost comical in her desire to make everyone happy.

My husband and I will laugh about it sometimes. At Christmas, if she sees something that my sister-in-law might like, she also will... more

Did I get your attention with the title? I hope I did. Do I think that Korean adoptees are a second choice? I would say that 99% of the time we are not second choices. There is always that small percent that disappoints me.

One of the things that I’ve done all my life is step back and become an observer. Even when I am bound tightly to the group, I distance myself a little so that I can hear what other people are saying, see how other people are reacting… What I am hearing in the Korean adoptee world is that many feel like they are second choices. Their parents tried to have biological children first, many tried domestic adoption second and then turned to international adoption... more

The theory that storks deliver babies isn’t as far off when you’re thinking about adoption. In my family, babies come on 747s, which is just a different type of bird – granted, it’s a giant metal bird filled with sophisticated computers, but, hey, it’s still a bird.

Sometime over the years, I lost track of my arrival day. I knew it was in September, but I’m embarrassed to say that I had to call my mother and ask the exact date. I felt a little better, because she had to look it up in my baby book to make sure she had the right day.

When... more

I hate it when people ask me if I think they’ll be a good parent to a Korean adoptee. I love when people ask me about my life as a Korean adoptee or when they ask about my experience adopting my son. Those are things that I can handle and, without a doubt, I am qualified to answer those questions.

When someone asks me if they will be a good parent to a Korean adoptee, I silently groan. Half the time, I wonder if I’m a good parent to a Korean adoptee – I am certainly not qualified to answer that question. I am not a social worker or trained... more

Over the Birth/First Parent blog, Jenna talked about adoption language and her preference to be called a first mom vs. a birth mom. She pointed out that she prefers first mom, but has no problems with the term birth mom. It’s all in your prospective and how the words are used.

Over on one of my Yahoo groups, there was a very similar conversation about the use of Oriental vs. Asian. I read through the comments and then, as typical,... more