I am writing this post because, if I don’t, my mother will badger me until I do. It’s self preservation.

Awhile back, I wrote about Anne Tyler’s book, “Digging To America.” Part of the story line is that every year two families that met at the airport while picking up their Korean adoptees have an Arrival Day party. At the first party, they thought there should be a theme song for the girls and all they could think of was “She’ll Be Coming Around The Mountain.”... more

Today is my son’s adoption day. We didn’t do much besides say, “Today is your adoption day.” It just wasn’t that big of a deal for us. It was fun to go the courthouse and get that official document, but it really only confirmed what we already knew. We were officially a family.

Perhaps if my son had been older and he understood what the day represented, my husband and I would have stronger memories of the day. As it was, my son thought it was just another part of the party called December. Then again, maybe we wouldn’t. I’m not one hundred percent... more

This week-end we went to the adoption agency holiday party. One of the things that I love about the party is the bazaar. This year, I ended up buying a Korean doll, a Korean police car and a package of Korean coins. I’m not sure where I’m going to put the Korean doll and what I’m going to do with a package of Korean coins, but my son has yet to let go of the police car so that was a hit. My mother and my mother-in-law also did their fair share of shopping – especially my mother-in-law.

I walked up to her and she was browsing through some Korean books and coloring books. She asked me if my son had any and I told her that he only had the one. She started picking up books and... more

Wednesday was my sister’s birthday. We always celebrate her birthday on Thanksgiving because we are together, just like we celebrate the rest of our birthdays around Easter. My sister’s birthday is really the actual day she was born. I know that sounds funny to most, but when I was adopted it was pretty rare that you knew exactly when your Korean adoptee was born. They gave you approximates.

The day that we celebrate my birthday could be my birthday or it could be another day. My mother is convinced that I was born on her birthday... more

Link: Minnesota Daily

I was reading this article the other day and I was thinking that it was pretty great that there were now large enough concentrations of Korean adoptees that they could form groups. Where I was growing up, we were pretty rare and here is a whole group. Isn’t that fantastic?

Twin sisters, Lea and Rae Green, moved from South Korea to St. Paul in 1988.

This past summer, the first-year University students started meeting... more

Tomorrow is the big football game – University of Michigan vs. Ohio State. Some of the hype seems absolutely ridiculous to me, but I’m making my way through it. I was raised in Ohio, but I’m not an Ohio State fan (mostly because I’m not a football fan). I live in Michigan and my husband works for the University of Michigan. Considering that more than half of our livelihood comes from the U of Michigan, I tend to lean towards the maize and blue, but mostly I remain a little detached.

The news over the last few weeks has been... more

Link: Part 1

I tried to picture what a defense mechanism would look like. I found myself thinking about Star Trek. The captain of the ship says, “Shields up” and a translucent bubble forms around the ship. Weapons fire bounces off the shields and the occupants of the ship are shaken, but unhurt.

The problem with leaving your shields up and not fighting back, is that eventually those alien weapons start to find weaknesses in your shields.... more

I think that some Korean adoptees have a defense mechanism that allows us to completely tune out some of the offensive comments. I find that sometimes I am totally unaware that something has happened until someone tells me. Friends have said to me how insensitive a question was or how rude a comment was and I realize that I didn’t even notice it. When I think back to the conversation, I can see it, but while I was there…it didn’t even phase me.

In some ways, I think that this defense mechanism that I’ve developed is a good thing and in some ways... more

I was nine when my sister arrived from Korea, so I was old enough to understand that not everything that is said in the syrupy tone that adults use with babies was really sweet. One particular time really sticks out in my head because I think it’s the first time that I really understood that some people said bad things about adoption. A neighbor waived at me when I was riding my bike by their house and I stopped. “Where’s your expensive sister?” He asked.

I had no idea what he was talking about, but I wasn’t stupid. Even at nine, I heard the underlying... more

I just joined a new forum for Korean adoptees (though there is a section for parents of Korean adoptees as well) and I’m enjoying myself. I feel quite old on this forum. Though many do not come out and say how old they are, I get the impression that many of them are still in college. Oh, I know that I’m not old (though my sister might disagree), but when you are part of a group that approaches the world far differently than you do…you start wondering when you changed.

Like I... more