On one of the forums that I read, someone mentioned to me that I haven’t really talked a lot about my son. Oh, I talk about him in passing or what I plan to tell him when he is older, but not a lot about him. Personally, I think he’s the best little boy on the face of the earth, but I might be a little biased. Mostly, it’s because I try to stay focused and for the most part I was thinking that I haven’t had to worry about adoption issues with him yet. But I am reminded that that isn’t exactly true.

Korean adoptee issues start from the moment your baby is carried off the plane.... more

Earlier, I wrote a post about how things happen for a reason. Every action leads to another action. On my other blog, I wrote about a series of events that lead to my adoption. My other blog is still a work in progress so I don’t link to it very often. I still haven’t figured out exactly where I’m going with it, but as soon as I do I’ll let you know. I suspect that it will be a lot less formal with a propensity to meander to other topics.

Anyhow, this one struck me as something that I could share on this site as well. So here is the link. A... more

Decades ago, open adoption was rare. Adoption was often a big secret. Even if the child knew that he/she was adopted, no one talked about it. With Korean adoption, it was never possible for it to be a secret, but it is possible for no one to talk about it.

I’ve heard parents talking about being color-blind in their family. They don’t talk about the differences because it doesn’t matter. Everyone is loved the same no matter where they came from or what they look like so it just doesn’t matter. That does seem like a wonderful Utopia, but unfortunately, I haven’t found one yet.

I’m not saying that families aren’t color-blind. I’m saying that it DOES matter.... more

On Saturday, I took my son and my friend’s little girl to Great Lakes Crossing in Michigan. It’s a big indoor outlet mall, but we didn’t go for the shopping. We went to visit Jeepers, which is a mini-indoor amusement park. It has little rides (roller coasters, bumper cars, etc…), a big play land for kids, an arcade…

We went and picked up my friend’s little girl in the morning and we got the biggest kick out of our son’s reaction. He’s not... more

It’s really weird how my thoughts have changed this year. I think it has to do with writing this blog. It’s forced me to examine some aspects of my life that I never would have.

Mother’s Day is coming. I’ve always viewed it as a rather silly day that I observed out of respect for my mother and what she has given me. Mother’s Day is a greeting card holiday that was created to honor mothers for one day, but it should be more - it’s a day that should remind us not to take mothers for granted. It’s easy to take mothers for granted when you are secure in their love. Mother’s Day should really be every day.

I have always had tunnel vision when it came to my mother. She is... more

When I was adopted, it was not nearly as easy as it is now for a Korean adoptee to become a U.S. citizen. I was here several years before I become a naturalized citizen. I had to go to the court house and raise my right hand (or my parents did) along with all of the other Permanent Residents who were becoming citizens. According to my mother, the day I became a citizen was one the few days I really let loose. We had a big party and I danced my heart out. Unfortunately, they have pictures.

Now the Child Citizenship Act of 2000 makes it pretty easy. This bill allows... more

It’s funny how you look at things differently once you’ve adopted a child. Stories that you’ve grown up with suddenly take on new meanings. Last night I was reading my son a bedtime story and I realized I had a new one to share.

I was reading “The Ugly Duckling” (adapted by John O’Grady) from the book “3-Minute Stories: Bedtime Tales”. I was reading it because my son loves ducks and it seemed like a good way to settle him down. As I was reading it, I realized that perhaps it was a good lesson for a child adopted from Korea who has Caucasian siblings or even just to the child adopted... more

My mother was mentioning how different the referral process was for me. When she adopted me and my sister, she had to wait a long time between the completion of the homestudy and the referral picture. Not only that, she had to wait a long time to see the pictures even after she received word of the referral. We received our referral a couple of weeks after the homestudy was completed and we saw our picture the day after we were notified that we had been matched with a little boy. Not only that, thanks to the miracle of modern technology, most of our family saw the picture the same day that we did.

My mother also brought up how hard it was to tell anything from the pictures. According... more

(From the Parent Side)

Yesterday, I wrote about how as an adoptee we might use adoption as an excuse for all of our problems. Today, I’m going to talk a little bit about parents of adoptees. Do we do the same thing?

As a first time parent, I am always struggling with parental issues. When should I put my son in time-out? When should I ignore the behavior? Should I push the issue or let it go. Should I be concerned if he doesn’t know his numbers or should I let nature take its course. There... more

(From the Adoptee Side)

I’ve been thinking deep thoughts again. It started out innocent enough, but then the more I thought…the more things began to take shape in my mind. On the Korean Forum on adoption.com there is thread about why all problems are automatically blamed on adoption. If a child who is adopted throws a fit in the grocery store or at church, it’s automatically assumed that the child is behaving badly because they haven’t adjusted yet. The same behavior in a biological child of toddler age sparks... more